Wow, you
actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us include it and
made us use a precious button on our home page to get you here.
At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then
we read the page. What a Netwakening! It's really important
stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated
it into readable English. So be a smart nethead and read the
stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from our
lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the
deal:
We run this
site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it
for personal entertainment, information, education, communication,
and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around all you
like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for
non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don't fool
around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff.
They're there for a really good reason. And don't even think
about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting,
or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including the
text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes
unless we give you written permission. And it's not likely we
will.
If you visit
our site, you're also legally obligated to [read: stuck with]
the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation
that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide Web,
or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or browse the site
if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there's
no turning back -- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms
and conditions.
So here's
the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out
on our site:
1. For everyone's
sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted
unless we say it's not. So you can't use the stuff except how
we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without
our written permission. And like we said before, it's not likely
we'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted
to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's
better you don't even ask.
2. While
we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we're not promising
you it's accurate. In fact, we're not promising you anything
except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site,
you're using it at your own risk. Don't call us if there's a
problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for
errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and
anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site
are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In
particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer
includes "direct, incidental, consequential, indirect,
or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of,
the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the
site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND,
EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO,
THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR
PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note
that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied
warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to
you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations
regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. " Ugh! What
a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes
because we couldn't figure out any other way to say it that
the lawyers would accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're
not responsible if you're browsing around and the site damages
you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We
sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you
don't want the world to know something, don't post in on the
site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's because
anything you disclose to us is ours. That's right -- ours. So
we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce
it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and
post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as
soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can even use
any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way
we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures
of people or places shown on the site are either our property
or someone else's property we're using with their permission.
No matter what, it's definitely not your property. You or any
of your net-friends can't use it unless we said you could on
this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess what -- we
won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because unauthorized use
may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff
you download to yourself.
6. There's
also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site
that either we own or we're using with someone else's permission.
So don't think you have any kind of license or right to use
them, because you don't and we're not about to give you one.
If you don't leave them alone and mess with our trademarks,
logos and service marks on our site, we'll probably go ballistic,
so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and
service marks. That means that we're likely to sue you or to
ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our
property or the property of others.
7. You'll
probably notice we've linked our site to lots of others. While
that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all those sites,
much less checked them out periodically to see what's going
on. So don't blame us if some site you link to is bad or has
stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link,
but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That
brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally
listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting in our discussion
groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no responsibility
and assume no liability for the content of those locations or
for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods,
obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when
you visit such places on our site. And don't be stupid by posting
or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory,
obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean,
or profane material or any material that law enforcement types
may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil
lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime.
While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but
to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court
which might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on our
site.
9. Software
that we use on this Site is protected by all sorts of patriotic
U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't download or send the software
to anyone in the vacation travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya,
North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other country where United
States has embargoed goods; or (get this) to anyone on the United
States Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals,
the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the
FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding on the
last one). As if that were not tough enough, if you live in
or are a national of any of those lovely places, you're not
even supposed to be reading this page, so beat it!
10. We're
also allowed to change this page and anything else on the site
any time we want to. That's because it's ours and we have the
programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then you're
bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you
visit our site.
11. If either
of us wants to make something of it and wants to "sue"
(a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of engagement.
(sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement
is governed by the laws of the State of California, without
regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent
you have in any manner violated or threatened to violate CareerJimmy.com
and/or its affiliates' intellectual property rights, CareerJimmy.com
and/or its affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate
relief in any state or federal court in the State of California,
and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
courts.
Any other
disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute
arises under this agreement, we agree to first try to resolve
it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the following
location: Los Angeles County. Any costs and fees other than
attorney fees associated with the mediation will be shared equally
by each of us.
If it proves
impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through
mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding arbitration
at the following location: Los Angeles County, under the rules
of the American Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award
rendered by the arbitration may be entered in any court with
jurisdiction to do so.
If this
all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen
what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind
them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United
States. Boy, did they look disappointed!
August 29,
2011
CareerJimmy.com
and its suite of career-based websites and products.
CareerJimmy
JobInterviewSecret.com
26500
W. Agoura Rd. #543, Calabasas CA 91302
Phone 818-377-4332 or Toll Free 800-850-7635
Business Hours Monday - Friday 8am - 5pm Pacific Standard Time
